I got a call from a friend last night. It was nice. It seems so difficult to make and keep friends as we age. Maybe it's just me and the fact that I don't want to waste time on unsatisfying relationships any longer. Maybe I expect too much from people. Maybe I just need to find people with more similar interests. I have friends from work; one is younger than me, getting ready to have her first child and we exchange texts fairly frequently but it's mostly superficial. My supervisor seems very similar to me and we've had some great discussions but the fact that we're on different levels feels like an im---
People I've met at the MSP dog club haven't clicked like in Tucson, although I didn't maintain friendships with any of them once I moved away. People from my therapy group tried to keep it going informally for a while and one woman and I did activities with our kids for a couple of years but eventually we drifted apart. Maybe because we didn't live nearby. Maybe because our kids weren't exactly the same gender and age.
Maybe friendships take a backseat once we get married, have kids, and narrow our scope of social interactions. Maybe people are satisfied with superficial social online relationships. Maybe friendships are almost impossible to maintain once we step out of the setting in which the friendship was made. Out of sight = out of mind? I find this so hard to understand, though, with there being many ways to communicate these days.
Whatever the reasons, it frustrates me. I may need to force myself to be more of the aggressor. As I look back, I will not be hard on myself though: I can name a couple of instances in the past couple of weeks where I made the first move. The connection needs to be there though.
Can I maintain this friendship until we can be neighbors? That remains to be seen, but I'm going to try.
Update 4/29/25 We haven't spoken in years.