12/13/17

Now that winter is pretty much in full swing, I'm doing a lot of dreaming about getting the hell out of here. I don't know what Xander will be doing in 3.5 years, so I really just need to make my own plans with no provisions for him unless arrangements come together as time winds down.
San Diego would be first choice for both of us right now, but I can't afford the type of place I currently want for myself. Prescott Valley would be nice but I think it's too expensive for what they offer. Cottonwood, Jerome, Verde Valley could be good options. Tucson/Marana has potential but back to the heat. Ugh.

11-21-17  Update

Well, I can't believe that the whole deal fell through. So disappointed. I was at Peggy's place, ready to take a puppy home. At the time, I wasn't sure if it would be the brown-collared sable, the likely long-coat, or Peanut the runt. Peggy said that another buyer came out and had a really nice immediate bond with the stand-offish brown-collared female. Peggy said I have first choice, but that was enough to help me narrow down my decision. I was concerned about health issues with Peanut, even though most everything I'd read said that runts typically grow up fine. That left the coat, which I wasn't in love with but had shown some potentially nice working ability. I was satisfied, though not thrilled

4-12-17
Not in the best "space" these days. Too much going on. Tired all the time. Well, hell, I'm working 3 jobs. Sure, one is only a few hours a week but it consumes my thoughts sometimes. Then, yesterday, Xander's track meets started. I was so dreading it. The drive to Forest Lake, the fact that girlfriend might be there, chilly windy day. It ended up the way I wanted, but it didn't feel good (didn't go, ex dropped off).
I need to get my health insurance done and get back to Hansen, get back on bupropion. Get the loose ends of Mom's estate finished. Have no idea how I'm going to explain to Tim. He probably has figured out I'm nuts at times.
Looking forward to puppy but need to find the time to get ready!
Need to keep exploring why I feel so unsatisfied/unfulfilled with my life, and what I can do about it now and looking forward. A bucket list, perhaps. A vision board (white board at WM?).
Although I'm not getting the weekend off at WM, it's the ex's year for Easter weekend. He texts me that I "can have Fri and Sat nights"; I will be responding "Thanks, but no thanks" without the tone (maybe).